I believe the only thing we were really lucky with in all that was the pre-Cana course. Rather than having some priest tell us what was right and wrong, we had our meetings with a young priest from Congo. He didn’t want to give us any lesson, exactly for the reasons that you say. He admitted that the only things he could speak of were the religious meaning of the sacrament and the concept of commitment, since he had to commit himself to a certain type of life anyway. For the most part though, the meetings were more of a chat about what the choice of getting married meant to us in general, not only in a church, the value of family, etc. And I believe it was not bad to have a chance to think about those things also with other people who had different views. Not that we hadn’t thought about it… we had already lived together for 4 years… but it was kind of interesting.
Thank you for your comment!